Having deliberated on silence
killers, we cannot talk of silence killers without touching WHEN-THE-GOING-IS-GOOD Friends. Now the
question remains: who are these WHEN-THE-GOING-IS-GOOD
Friends? How can we identify them? But before answering these questions we
have to know what friendship is all about, we can define friendship as a type
of association whereby we derive one benefit or the other depending on the type
of friendship; like we have different types of friendship like:
(1)
Casual Friends
(2)
Mutual Friends
(3)
Intimate Friends
(4)
Soul Mates
(5)
Sugar-Coated-And-Watering-Friends
(6)
When-The-Going-is-Good Friends
But before we proceed with the main
topic, we are going to ponder much on the bone of contention in friendship or
the main thing that makes friendship grows to higher standard. Now, when you are not getting any benefit
from a relationship; what will you do? You will cut it off without wasting
time; especially if that type of relationship is demanding many
responsibilities from you like financial supports, creativities, connections
etc. and you end up giving everything but you are not receiving anything in
return as your benefits; then what will
you do? You will terminate such relationship or friendship because you feel
being used and abused. Now, when you continue in such friendship; people will
deem you to be stupid and uneducated, why? It is because people that are
treated like that are seen as those that suffer from a disease called
inferiority complex which sometimes is a morale misbehavior of people that
comes from poor financial family background which impose on them lack of self-esteem.
Now, the benefits you are expected to get from any type of friendship are:
(1)
Financial supports
(2)
Career opportunities and development
(3)
Skills acquisitions
(4)
Love
(5)
Human Right support/Security
(6)
Health/Healthy related supports
(7)
Business Plan Development and supports
(8)
Family Building
(9)
Shelter/necessities supports
(10)
Authority and Power influence etc.
Now, these are basic things one
should be expecting in a relationship depending on the type of friendship. But
when you are not getting two out of any of such support from one you call a
friend; instead you are the one giving everything in the friendship. You need
to disconnect from such friendship; especially when it comes to opposite gender
or sex; it is highly dangerous, I know someone that receive beating upon every
support she renders without getting anything in return. If you are in such
position; how will you react? For her; she said that she wanted to take it to
another level, but she cannot condone the insult and beatings, so she had to
disconnect before it is too late for her. But for the same gender; it can be a
tolerant issue; especially when one is trying to carry the other along; so that
when He picks up; He will in turn pay him back in cash or in support for
development. And that is called training.
The above statement forms the basis
for our deliberation on what is called “WHEN-THE-GOING-IS-GOOD”
Friendship. You see this type of friendship amongst same gender affairs; it
concerns those that want to use others to shine in life; it is also called USE-AND-DUMP relationship or friendship
similar to casual friendship but there is a “bone of contention” that is pulling one close to the other; and
the bone of contention may be finances or wealth especially which he wants to
help to liquidate. And once that “bone of
contention” does not exist or is no more there, the other party that is
being pulled or attracted will begin to change like chameleon, until his true
colors appear; and the next thing is looking for nasty faults to desert and run
away. This is why; WHEN-THE-GOING-IS-GOOD
friends are also called friends at distance. You will only see them surface
when you make money or when things is happening around you. They will surface
with their tricks to sap you like blood sucker and when your wealth vanish;
they will all disappear through the windows in a twinkling of an eye. And when
they come as unexpected visitors as relations; you will see them carry their
bags and throw them through the window when you are not around; and you are coming
back home to see their written notes or letter of departure which they did not
tell you, why? It is because they have accomplished their mission. It is not
every relation you invite to live with you; some of them are sent agents to
target you and your progress as well as bring you down (PROVERB 14:20). I could remember that my friends deserted me the
day I lost my Job in NBL PLC Ama in 2004/2005.
Now, having known what this type of
friendship is like; what should normal friendship be like before graduating to
intimate, soul mate and mutual friendship? (PROVERB
17:17), deploying the Holy bible as a case study, say: “A true friends shows love at all time, even more than a brother” can
we prove it? Yes, we can prove it with the relationship between Jonathan (King
Sou’sl Son) and David (I SAMUEL 18:1),
it was recorded that as soon as David
had finished speaking to Soul, Jonathan and David became bound together in
close friendship; and Jonathan began to love him as himself. From that day;
soul kept David with him and he did not allow him to return to his father’s
house. And Jonathan and David made a
covenant because he loved him as himself, Jonathan took off the sleeveless coat
that he wore and gave it to David along with his gear, his sword, his bow and
his belt. Then, David began going out and was successful wherever Soul would
sent him. This is a normal friendship outfit, which is also called mutual
friendship because they benefit each other. Even, when they will have issues,
they will settle it amicably because wounds inflicted by a friend are faithful (PROVERB 37:6).
Now, who is your friend? It is true that some persons don’t have friends
because of ugly experience; but why? Some friends are not friend but
fiend (meaning terror), may be because of betrayal as a nature, remember Judas Iscariot,
one of Jesus disciple that sold him with thirty pieces of silver ate with him
on the same dish; but at last handed him over to Jewish Soldier with kisses.
You have to be careful with such friends that love money more than life; they
are ready to sacrifice you in order to make money. This is why endemic
corruption in the society had made people to shy away and deviate from true
friendship because of betrayal experiences. No wonder David said in PSALM 55:12; that it
was not an enemy who taunt him, otherwise He could put up with him; it is not a
foe who has risen up against him; otherwise He could hide himself from him. But
it is you, a man like him, His own companion whom He knows well. They use to
enjoy a warm friendship together into the house of God, they used to walk along
with multitudes. Have you suffered such
betrayal as David did? If you have not, you are not yet great. But if have
suffered it, count it a privilege and beware of WHEN-THE-GOING-IS-GOOD friends.
WRITTEN BY:
ONYIA EMEKA HEATH
+2348186388641
No comments:
Post a Comment